Tangled Threads (Ch 23-25)

CHAPTER 23

Jack jumped up with a start and glanced over at the clock resting on the bedside unit.

0413. Great.

He tiredly ran a hand over his face before frowning. He hadn't been asleep for more than an hour and yet he'd awoken for a reason. He'd heard a noise from somewhere inside the cabin. It was so soft, that to anyone else, it wouldn't have registered, but after years of Black Ops, Jack was trained to listen for even the smallest of noises.

Realistically, as his cabin was in the middle of nowhere, the only disturbance Jack had faced in the past was from the local wildlife. Only on this occasion, the noise he heard didn't sound like the locals. Then he remembered.

Carter.

Crap.

Jack jumped out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt and sweats before striding into the hallway. A quick glance at the guestroom showed the door to be open and the room empty and he felt his heartbeat quicken as he searched the rooms. He slowly made his way through the cabin, but there was no sign of Sam anywhere.

Blaming it on his abrupt awakening, it was only when Jack took another inventory of the den and kitchen that he noticed the glass doors leading out to the deck were slightly ajar. He was sure he'd locked the door behind him last night, as he moved stealthily around the room checking for any threats. It was only when he glanced out the window and saw the unmistakable silhouette of Carter as she stood looking out over the lake, that he relaxed.

He observed her closely from the window as he debated with himself as to what to do. The rational part of his mind was telling him she was fine, just getting some fresh air and he should stay in the cabin and give her the privacy she deserved. Yet the other - more irrational - part of his mind was screaming at him to go to her.

He stood for a few more minutes and when noticed the first signs of her shaking, he made a decision.

***

Sam stood at the edge of the deck, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she stared straight ahead. She had awoken about an hour ago, but her thoughts had refused to let her go back to sleep, which was why she now found herself standing at the edge of Jack's lake in the very early Minnesota morning, just thinking.

She was so lost in her thoughts she was startled but not surprised when she felt a blanket being dropped lightly around her shoulders, quickly followed by a pair of muscular arms.

He always found her. No matter where she was, or might be, he would always follow and find her. Always.

Her breathing hitched as his fingers touched her bare arms, the warmth strangely pleasant against her cold skin, jolting her briefly out of her thoughts.

"Geez, Carter. You're freezing," Jack muttered as he shifted to tighten the blanket around her shoulders, before running his hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm her up.

"I'm fine," she argued, her voice thick with tears and Jack momentarily froze when she whimpered lightly before sniffling.

He stepped to the side to get a better look at her and quirked a brow. It was still dark out, but Jack couldn't miss the wet streaks running down Sam's face as her tears were reflected in the moonlight. She maneuvered a hand out from underneath the blanket and ran it hastily across her face to wipe away her tears.

"Oh, Sam," Jack grumbled under his breath.

"Did I wake you?" she whispered, staring straight ahead at their beautiful surroundings.

Jack studied her closely before answering. "No."

She nodded absently and Jack wasn't convinced that she had fully registered his response. She still hadn't looked anywhere near him, and only spoken a half dozen, distant words. He tilted his hear to the side and as he regarded her closer, it appeared she had been crying for a while and Jack suddenly felt like kicking himself for not noticing sooner.

"C'mere," he said softly, barely a whisper in the still night as he tugged her towards him. It took a few moments for her to respond to him, but when she did, she melted into his embrace, her body soft against his toned frame and she snuggled close into his chest. She inhaled deeply and found herself surrounded by his scent.

She had noticed it the first day they met, and eight years later, she was still in love with it. She didn't know what it was, only that it was pure Jack, and despite what others might think, she thought it was a pretty apt description.

It made her feel safe, secure, and comforted and as he moved impossibly closer to him, she felt his arms tighten a split second before he buried his face in her neck.

She sighed softly at the sensations he was sending through her body at the touch.

"Couldn't you sleep?" he mumbled against her skin.

Not totally trusting her voice, she shook her head, the ends of her hair tickling Jack as she moved.

"Why?"

She hesitated. "I... I was... thinking."

Despite the seriousness and intimacy of the moment, she resisted the urge to roll her eyes as Jack's snort reached her ears.

"I'd be shocked if you ever stopped, Carter," he drawled as he straightened to look at her face.

Sam shook her head and offered him a small smile before leaning back against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist as best she could from underneath the blanket, while Jack responded by resting one arm around the small of her back, with the other coming up across her shoulders, his hand absently stroking her hair.

"I miss him."

It was so quiet, Jack would have missed her heartfelt confession only for the small vibrations he felt across his chest as she spoke. He rested his chin on the top of her head and spoke quietly.

"It's okay to miss him, you know."

"I know. It's just..." she trailed off.

Jack felt her start to tremble in his arms and he was just about to pull her tighter when her breath caught and she choked out her sentence.

"I miss him so much."

And that was all it took. All the carefully erected barriers Sam had built up over the years came crashing down with that one small statement and as she was hit with the overwhelming rush of emotions, Jack tightened his grip as her knees buckled from underneath her.

The front of his t-shirt grew wet very quickly as her tears continued to fall and soak into the thin material, but Jack couldn't really care less at that moment in time. He was just thankful he was the one able to comfort her as she cried.

After a while, his hands moved to rub soft, small circles over her back as he soothingly whispered comforts in her ear. She was still crying, and whilst it wasn't heart-wrenching sobs like before, Jack knew she wasn't just crying over the loss of her father anymore.

It was the loss of her parents. The strained relationship she'd had with Mark for years as a result. Janet. Cassie. SG-1. The losses they had suffered in their job. Their brothers and sisters in arms, killed on the front lines. Pete. Kerry. Being forced to repress and ignore your feelings for so long. Play the soldier. Obey the rules. Service before self.

As Jack stood at the edge of the lake, he admitted he had never one to deal with emotions, preferring to just sweep them away or deny them altogether. Even when he was married to Sara and she had been upset over something, he'd try to comfort her in some way, but he always felt uneasy - and slightly ridiculous - for doing so. Which was ridiculous in itself as they had been married for the best part of a decade, and whilst their marriage wasn't perfect, he had loved her and hated seeing her distressed.

But when he stood, holding Sam in his arms, he realized it was different. He couldn't put his finger on what was different, only that it felt right. It always did when he held her, even though it shouldn't.

He didn't feel uncomfortable as he let her cry over him; he didn't want her to hurry up and pull herself together as he was quite content to stay where he was for a long time. He felt an unnatural sense of pride at the trust the woman in his arms placed in him to allow him to hold her so close and he selfishly sent up a prayer asking for him to be the only one to hold her like this in the future.

She trusted him enough to see her at her best and worst, her strengths and weaknesses and rest in the knowledge that he would just let her be. He didn't need to force anything, or say or do anything to try and make it okay. Yes, he would certainly try, but he knew he didn't need to. He knew when something needed to be said and when it didn't. He knew when to hold her and when to give her space.

If the roles were reversed, there was no doubt in Jack's mind that Sam would do the same for him. It was how they were. And then it hit him.

He did know what was different. He'd known all along.

The way their bodies fitted perfectly together. The way they only needed to have a conversation with their eyes to know exactly what the other was thinking. The way they were together in every single damn other alternate reality out there.

They were soul mates. They always had been and always would be.

Jack wasn't sure how long they had been standing like that, or how long he had been lost in his thoughts, but he slowly pulled back from Sam when he felt her grip loosen around his waist.

He winced slightly at her appearance. She had stopped crying, with just the odd tear now escaping freely down her face, but she looked exhausted. Beautiful, but exhausted. She looked ready to collapse on her feet; a fact Jack had confirmed when she bunched his t-shirt tightly in her hands as she tried to steady herself against him.

"Easy," he quietly reassured her as he moved his hands to her hips.

She rested her forehead briefly against his chest, before pulling back and frowning. She tilted her head at his t-shirt and he followed her gaze when she gasped.

"Your shirt! I... I'm so... sorry," she stuttered.

Jack couldn't help but chuckle at the deep crimson blush that spread across her face and neck at the discovery.

"It's alright," he replied. "It's not like it's one of my good ones," he quipped, grinning proudly when it elicited the smallest of giggles from Sam.

"You okay?" he asked softly after a minute.

She sighed heavily. "Yeah. I think so. Thank you," she added after a beat.

Jack nodded his welcome before Sam continued.

"I really didn't... I didn't want to cry all over you, I just..."

"Carter. It's fine. I was kinda expecting it," he admitted quietly, only shrugging a shoulder when Sam raised her eyebrows in response.

"I'd have been more worried if you hadn't broken down," he clarified. "You and your dad were close, but you've had to keep everything locked up whilst your family was here. It was only a matter of time before it all came out."

He watched Sam carefully as she listened to his words. He could tell she was on the verge of retorting, so he placed a finger gently against her lips.

"Don't apologize for crying, Sam. It's not a weakness. I know you're strong. I knew that after our first mission together, so don't feel like you need to prove anything to me, okay?"

She searched his eyes, and all she could see was love and trust shining back at her. But still she faltered in her answer.

"Okay?" Jack pressed gently.

Her gaze darted to down to Jack's chest and he sighed. He was worried she would shut herself off again and be embarrassed by her outburst.

Glancing briefly up to the sky, Jack's eyes returned to Sam and he hooked this thumb and forefinger under her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"I promised you I would always be there for you, Sam, and I will. Believe me. I'll be the guy who's there to tell you a bad joke and make you laugh for a few seconds. I'll be the guy whose waiting with a pizza and a six-pack of beer to help you relax and forget about the bad day at work..."

He paused to make sure he had Sam's full attention, before he lowered his voice.

"And I'll be the one who will be waiting to catch you when you fall and make everything okay."

Sam's jaw fell open at the explanation Jack gave her. She hadn't heard him talk so openly or honestly about anything emotional before and she felt herself welling up again as a result. As if he knew what she was thinking, he added lightly; "Just don't tell the guys I told you that."

She giggled in response and he moved to pull her closer to him again. She was only there for a second when she pressed her hands against his chest and scrunched up her nose.

At his confused from, she nodded to his soaking wet t-shirt. "It's cold."

"Ah."

In one swift movement, Jack had peeled the garment off, letting it fall in a crumpled mess at his feet.

"Better?" he asked, tugging Sam to him.

She sighed, and then smiled when she felt him shudder underneath her. Even in the cold early morning, he felt like he was on fire and Sam felt herself getting lost as she was surrounded by his heat. In minutes, Jack had to hold her tighter as her breathing slowed and she sagged against his chest.

He placed a feather-light kiss in her hair as soon as her breathing evened out and he knew she was asleep. He let out a silent sigh and glanced up to the quickly fading stars.

For now, he was just content to stand and hold her in his arms. The other things he needed to talk to Sam about would have to wait until later.

He just hoped it wouldn't go horribly, horribly wrong.

***

CHAPTER 24

***

It was just after 1100 on Tuesday morning before Sam emerged in jeans and a light blue tight-fitting tank top with matching cardigan, only to find Jack sitting idly at the kitchen table.

After she fell asleep in his arms not eight hours previously, Jack had carried her back to bed whilst he decided to stay up, despite the early hour. He was no longer tired, and sat by the fire giving himself some time to think. After mulling over his thoughts for a couple of hours, he moved back out to the deck and watched the sunrise. He briefly entertained the idea of waking Carter and sharing it with her, but decided against it in the end. He then jumped in the shower and after dressing, worked outside the cabin for a few hours, chopping wood, tidying around the yard and raking up the various leaves lying around.

With everything finished within a couple of hours, he soon found himself sitting at the kitchen table, lost in his thoughts until Sam joined him.

His left elbow was resting on the kitchen table, his chin resting on his left hand when Sam smiled awkwardly at him from the doorway. Raising his eyebrows in a welcoming gesture, Jack drained the remains of his coffee before getting up and moving over to the percolator.

"Have a seat," he said, waving a hand for Sam to sit down.

"I didn't realize it was so late," she said quietly after a minute.

"You were up late last night," Jack shrugged as he placed the steaming mug of coffee in front of her.

Smiling her thanks, Sam took a sip and sighed gratefully as the hot liquid hit the back of her throat. It was made just how she liked it, and much tastier than the commissary stuff she was used to.

"Sleep well?" Jack asked, as he slid into the seat opposite Sam, watching her carefully.

"Eventually, thank you," Sam blushed lightly as she remembered falling asleep in his arms and he had to carry back to bed - for the second time in as many days.

"Have you had breakfast?"

Jack smirked at her sudden desire to change the subject and shook his head.

"No. I was waiting until you were up," he admitted.

Sam's blush deepened. "Oh. I'm so sorry. You must be starving," she apologized as she glanced at the clock.

Jack shrugged indifferently and Sam found herself frowning. He looked tired, like something was bothering him and Sam immediately felt guilty as she realized it was probably her fault.

"It's nothin', Carter," Jack answered, knowing what was going through her head. "I just couldn't sleep."

"Something on your mind?"

Jack's eyes flew to hers and she felt herself start slightly.

"It's just... you look... something's bothering you," she stuttered.

His expression was blank, but Sam knew there was room for her to push him a little further. She would just need to try another approach if she was ever going to find out what was annoying him.

She cleared her throat softly.

"You, ah, you really helped me last night," she started quietly. "You know, with everything," she smiled, staring into her coffee.

She glanced up to meet his eyes. "Thank you."

Jack nodded once and she saw the moment his eyes softened.

He knew what she was trying to do, and whilst he didn't know how to talk to her at that moment, he appreciated that she was making the effort to let him know she would be there when he was ready.

He opened his mouth to ask her something but changed his mind at the last second.

"Brunch?"

***

After cooking a very enjoyable brunch, Sam insisted Jack let her take care of the dishes. It was the least she could do, she told him as he tried to refuse her help but if she was honest, the real reason she offered was because she was going out of her mind. Jack had barely spoken two words to her over their late breakfast and when he did, it was strained. In the end, she left him to finish his food in peace and set about tidying the kitchen to take her mind off his sudden strange behavior.

"I'm sorry I was so quiet at breakfast."

Sam jumped at the sound of his voice, spinning around to face him. He was leaning casually against the doorframe and there was the smallest of grins tugging at the corner of his mouth as he took in the sight of Sam before him with a wet cloth in one hand and a soapy plate in the other.

"That's okay," she answered slowly, as she turned back to the sink to finish the dishes. She wasn't being deliberately rude, but she knew not to push him. If he wanted to explain himself he would in his own time.

"No, it's not."

She smiled to herself and set the plate down before drying her hands and turning to face him.

"It's just..." he moved from his position in the doorway towards Sam, but hesitated when he reached the table. He glanced to the percolator before pointing to it.

"Coffee?"

"Sure," Sam agreed as lightly as she could.

She watched as he set about his task before he sat down heavily into one of the chairs at the table. The way he was sitting, Sam could only see the right hand side of his body and she found her eyes drawn to his hand as his long, calloused fingers began to drum rhythmically on the tabletop. They stopped suddenly and he shifted in his seat before he ran a hand through his hair.

"They've given me a promotion," he blurted out, quickly following it up with a wince.

That was so not how he planned to start the conversation.

The word 'promotion' automatically registered with Sam and she flashed her mega-watt smile at the General.

"Congratulations, Sir!" she said genuinely, moving towards him.

He glanced up as she came to a stop beside him and knew instinctively what she was going to do.

"So help me Carter, if you salute," he grumbled, pushing his seat back and striding past Sam towards the sink. He carelessly threw his empty cup of coffee from earlier into the bubbled water, making it splash on the counter top and window. He spread both hands on the worktop and leant on them heavily as he stared out the large window overlooking the pond for a few seconds before sighing.

Sam surveyed him from her spot at the table. When she saw his head fall to his chest, she moved over to him slowly.

"Not 'Congratulations, Sir'?" she said warily.

He angled his head to the side to see her standing beside him, her head tilted in a similar way to his.

"Nope."

She frowned at the curt answer.

"So, you're going to be a two-star General in the United States Air Force, and you're not happy?"

"Not 'going to be'. I am."

Sam's mouth formed a small 'O' at the confession.

"When were you promoted?"

He shrugged. "Saturday."

"Wait a minute. You were promoted three days ago... and you're only telling me now?"

Jack shot her a look and she quickly schooled her features.

"Sorry," she mumbled before continuing.

"Okay. So you are a two-star General in the United States Air Force... and you're not happy?" she asked, her confusion evident.

"Yes, Carter," Jack replied brusquely as he turned to face her.

"I, Major General Jack O'Neill of the United States Air Force, received a promotion whilst in DC and I'm not happy about it."

Sam started at his gruff response and the anger he was trying hard to keep buried.

"Was that why you had to go to Washington? For a promotion?"

"Not exactly," Jack snarled under his breath.

"Because it seems strange that you would have to travel for it. I mean, wouldn't it be more appropriate to receive your promotion at the SGC, in front of those under your command? It's not like the President has attended our ceremonies in the past, why this time?" she rambled.

Jack continued to stare at her until she caught up with the conversation.

"What do you mean 'not exactly'?" she frowned.

Turning to look back out the window, Jack focused on the stillness of the outdoors. It was simple and peaceful. Unlike the inside of his cabin right now, he mused.

Sam wanted nothing more than to shake the General to get him to look at her again, but as she observed him closer, she saw his stony-faced expression. He was giving nothing away, but she could see the tension in his jawline and could literally feel the frustration seeping off his body. His eyes were dark, but troubled, so she slowly reached out and placed a hand on his upper arm.

Her voice was quiet when she spoke. "Jack?"

He cast a glance in her direction.

"I was only supposed to be in DC to give Hayes and the Joint Chiefs a status report. I didn't know I was going to get... all this instead," he huffed, waving his hand across his chest and shoulders to indicate his promotion.

"So... it was a surprise? Is that what's bothering you?" she hedged.

She knew he hated surprises, but she couldn't figure out why this promotion was bothering him so much.

When he first accepted his role as head of the SGC, Sam had missed him on their missions. She missed his company, his bad jokes, his leadership and his faith in her abilities - as shallow as that may sound. She finally had her chance to lead a team - the flagship team no less - yet for the first few months, she was nervous. Nervous about making a mistake and therefore proving she wasn't born to command. Nervous about getting her teammates hurt - or worse - off world. Nervous about letting him down.

It was only after a team night when Daniel and Teal'c had left, leaving the two of them together at Jack's place, that they had a rare heart-to-heart and Sam realized that the General was having a similar dilemma with his newfound responsibility.

After their talk, and more beers than they'd care to remember, they both settled into their roles better and dealt with issues as best they could whenever they arose. She was surprised when the General had shared his doubts about his command. From the moment he asked for their advice in her lab, there was no doubt in Sam's mind that he would make a great leader for the SGC.

He knew everyone on the base - genuinely knew them - and not just by their name, rank and serial number.

He knew what it was like to be on the front lines and the difficult decisions that were sometimes called for.

He exuded leadership and was everything you could wish for in a leader; he had integrity, he was dedicated to who and what was important. He was humble and willing to give credit where it was due. He may appear gruff and be overly assertive at times, but he was also fair. He had long since gained the trust and respect of everyone in the mountain and Sam knew they would support him and follow his orders to the very end.

Yet, slowly, she also saw the other side to the General's role and how it was affecting him. His paperwork had quadrupled overnight, and whilst a lot of it was for unimportant issues in the grand scale of things, he really wasn't cut out for flying a desk. Each time he sent a team through the gate she saw for the briefest of seconds, the guilt in his eyes, not knowing if they would come back safely. Each time SG-1 or any other team came back through the gate, she saw the second - just before he relaxed knowing they had returned safely - where he looked that little bit older.

He still worked out regularly at the base gym, usually with Teal'c or Reynolds, and he was in great shape as a result, but he had always been a man of action and being stuck on Earth and not 'out there' was harder on him than he would admit. He also had to content with the politics of the job, and the less that was said about that, the better.

Pulling herself from her thoughts, Sam's eyes roamed his face as he stared straight ahead; from his salt and pepper colored hair (which was turning more 'salt' these days), to the strain lines that creased his tanned skin. He was still incredibly handsome, Sam mused idly, but now - standing so close and so unguarded to the man - she saw how he had aged within the last few months. The stress and expectation of the job was taking its toll on him. It was slowly destroying him and Sam could see he had lost part of the zeal he once had for his job.

Taking a deep breath, Sam removed her hand from his arm, only to place it gently on his cheek.

"Talk to me, Jack," she whispered.

He turned to her and leant his face deeper into her soft touch. When he opened his eyes, Sam gasped at the intensity that greeted her.

"I wanted to retire, Sam."

His voice was a gruff, broken whisper as he continued.

"Only they wouldn't let me."

Sam's eyes widened. For the first time in her life, Jack O'Neill looked defeated and it shook her to the core. She replayed his words over in her mind. He didn't need to tell her who they were, but he read the unanswered question in her eyes.

"Apparently I'm 'too valuable' to the Program," he deadpanned, drawing air quotes around the description with disdain.

"They're right, you know," Sam tried to reassure him quietly, only to receive a snort from Jack in return.

"I mean it, Jack," she said firmer this time as he moved to put some distance between them.

She knew what he was trying to do, but did her best to not let her hurt at his actions show.

After a few minutes Jack spoke. "I stormed out. From the President and Joint Chiefs," Jack added, sensing Sam had no idea what he was talking about.

"Yep," he drawled dryly. "Right in the middle of a meeting," he quipped as he turned abruptly and headed out to the deck, leaving Sam frozen to the spot and staring at the back of his head.

Getting over her shock, Sam moved to the window and watched as Jack deftly picked up a loose rock and skimmed it across the smooth surface of the water.

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

"Dammit Jack," she whispered, steeling herself for what she was about to do.

***

CHAPTER 25

***

Her voice reached Jack's ears before she came to a stop to his right at the end of the small dock.

"You stormed out of a meeting with the President and Joint Chiefs? Are you insane?" Sam asked, not even trying to hide her perplexity.

Jack spun around to face her so fast she felt dizzy, but even as he quirked a brow, issuing her with a silent warning, she refused to back down. If he was going to drop her a piece of information like that, and then just leave her standing alone with it in his kitchen, he was mistaken. If he was going to be deliberately awkward and evasive, so was she. He had started to open up to her - he wasn't going to take it back now. Besides, they'd crossed the CO and 2IC line a long time ago; she guessed she could risk being insubordinate.

"I had no choice!" Jack replied in frustration.

"Why?"

"They wouldn't listen to me!" Jack said, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

Sam's eyes widened. "They wouldn't listen to you," she repeated slowly in disbelief.

Jack shrugged. "I wanted to retire, they wouldn't let me. They gave me a promotion, I told them to keep it. I gave them my reasons, they didn't want to know," he finished abruptly, folding his arms across his chest. Despite the phrase 'petulant child' crossing Sam's mind, she found herself mirroring his stance.

"So, because they wouldn't agree to your reasons, that was a good enough reason for you to walk out on the President. The President," she emphasized. "Just like that?"

"Yep."

His voice was hard, emotionless. So were his eyes, and Sam felt herself involuntarily shudder at the coldness she was met with. At first, she thought he was being childish about the whole situation, but now... now she was worried. This fear was echoed in her voice, when she eventually spoke.

"Why?"

At his blank look, she forged ahead.

"What could be so important that you would just get up and walk out? I know you don't have time for politics, but..."

"You don't get it, do you Carter?"

She shook her head slightly, causing Jack to run a hand over his face. He sighed deeply.

"Look around you, Carter," he started, sweeping his arm elegantly across the landscape in front of them.

"This... this is where I want to retire. Always have. I made a promise to myself when I was recalled to active duty that once the Goa'uld were destroyed, that was it. I'd hand in my commission and go riding off into the sunset," he finished, lifting an arm and flicking it in the direction of the sun.

"Isn't that a little clichéd for you," Sam interjected with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

Jack ignored her comment. "After Charlie... after everything, I knew I would spend my retirement here - alone - and that suited me just fine. But then," he gave a wry smirk as he pointed a long index finger at Sam, "You came along. You, Daniel and Teal'c, and slowly but surely each one of you worked your way into my life and gave me something worth living for again."

He fell silent for a few minutes.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing," Sam observed softly.

Jack shrugged as he avoided her gaze. "All those times I invited you here, and you said no? I know why you said it, why you had to, but... a part of me wanted you to agree so badly... I wanted to share this with you... just to see if you wanted to eventually... share it with me too."

"You wanted to share this with me?"

"More than you'll ever know, Carter," he mumbled under his breath.

He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and rocked back on his heels.

"When Pete came along... I resigned myself to spending my retirement here alone. Again. There were days when I was this close," he fished out a hand and held up his finger and thumb to emphasize his point, "this close, to throwing everything away and leaving."

"You were going to leave?"

"Well, I certainly wasn't going to stick around and watch you and the cop play happy families," Jack growled, shoving his hand back in his pocket.

Sam inhaled sharply at his words. They had stung, but if she was honest, it was probably the least she deserved after everything she had put him through the last few months. She felt her eyes welling up, but if Jack could see her distress, he didn't acknowledge it.

"Pete's not here anymore," she said simply, her voice wavering ever-so-slightly.

"Neither are you. Not yet," Jack replied, just as simply.

Sam blinked, before pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. There had been many occasions when they worked together when Sam had trusted him but hadn't always fully understood his logic, but this, she decided, was just taking the piss.

"I don't understand."

Jack picked up another loose rock and skimmed it across the pond before answering matter-of-factly.

"Hammond's retiring. That's why I've been promoted. I'm the new head of Homeworld Security."

"Oh." Oh.

Jack watched from the corner of his eye as the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place for Sam.

"I report to Washington in a few weeks."

Sam tried to make sense of what Jack had just told her, and she found herself biting the inside of her cheek to stop her tears from falling. It would only be a matter of seconds before they escaped, but ultimately it was her voice that betrayed her.

"So, you're leaving."

Her voice was barely a whisper and Jack closed his eyes as he heard it cracking. He had heard what she hadn't said. He was leaving. He was leaving his dream of retirement behind. He was leaving them. He was leaving her.

"I don't have a choice, Sam," he murmured, as he moved to take a step closer to her. Sam shook her head and held out an arm to keep him there.

"You don't think I tried to find another way," Jack continued defensively, ignoring her request for him to stay put.

"I tried every damn thing I could think of to get out of it, Sam, and do you know why?" he challenged as his nose hovered just inches from hers.

At a shake of her head, he lowered his voice, but it remained husky.

"Because I want us to be together. We deserve this, Carter. Don't you think it's about time we did something for ourselves? I know you know it too. It's time."

He pulled back slightly so he could look into her eyes.

"I love you, Sam."

She gasped at his declaration, but couldn't find her voice to say anything, when Jack whispered his next sentence.

"I almost lost you to that detective. I'll be damned if I'm going to lose you again."

A sob caught in her throat as a lone tear escaped freely down her face. She stared straight back into his chocolate brown orbs, which were no longer guarded, and Sam could interpret every single emotion, every single word he wanted her to know.

He was right. It was time.

Before her brain had time to fully register what she was doing, Sam wrapped her arms around Jack's neck, her body flush with his as she claimed his lips in a searing kiss. She had caught them both off guard, and Jack remained stunned for a couple of seconds before she felt him respond in earnest. Her fingers weaved through his short hair, whilst his arms moved to loop around her waist, pulling her even closer as he opened his mouth and kissed her back slowly, deeply. It was only when the need for air became too great, that they reluctantly parted and Jack rested his forehead against hers as they fought to catch their breath.

Jack's mind was hazy. Samantha Carter had just kissed him. And it was a hell of a lot more intense - and incredible - than he ever imagined it would be.

"I'll resign," Sam whispered breathlessly after a minute.

"Like hell you will," he rebuffed quickly, trying to focus on the conversation and not... other things. Like his self control.

Taking as deep a breath as he could, he placed his hands on her hips and begrudgingly took a step backwards.

"There's no way I'm letting you give up your career for me," he added firmly. "Besides," he added with a tilt of the head, "The President won't let you. Apparently you're even more valuable to the Program than I am," he smirked, but Sam could see the sadness in his eyes.

Sam angled her head to match his.

"Then I'll transfer."

Jack shook his head. "That's not necessarily going to work either."

Ignoring Sam's frown, he continued.

"I told you I tried to think of a way - any way - for this to work."

It was a statement, not a question, but Sam nodded regardless.

"Homeworld Security is responsible for overseeing all of Earth's defenses. That includes the SGC, Alpha Site, Atlantis, Area 51, everything. No matter where you'd be stationed, you'd still fall under my command."

Seeing Sam's disappointment grow more apparent as the moments passed, Jack sighed.

"I tried, Sam, honest. I even tried something I never thought I would and asked if Hayes would consider changing the frat rules."

Sam choked at his brashness.

"You did what?"

He shrugged in annoyance. "I thought it was worth a shot," he muttered. "But no, apparently saving the world a half dozen times does not qualify for special privileges. It's not deemed 'viable'," Jack finished with a roll of the eyes.

Sam shook her head and let out an undignified snort, before sobering.

"So, that's it? We still have to go back to the way it's always been?"

At Jack's hesitation, Sam knew there was something he wasn't telling her. She made to pull away, only for his grip to tighten on her hips, keeping her firmly in place.

"We could get into a lot of trouble, Sam. We shouldn't even be doing... this, right now," he muttered helplessly, nodding to their intimate position on the dock.

"I don't care anymore, Jack," she whispered in frustration.

His eyebrows shot up and Sam shook her head.

"Don't get me wrong," she added quickly, sensing what he was getting at. "I don't want to be sneaking around... I don't think I could do that."

Jack nodded at her honesty, because he felt the exact same.

"I want to be able to do this properly, Jack. What are you not telling me?"

"Are you sure? Because I don't want a reprimand - or worse - in your file because of me. I'm not worth it," Jack murmured.

He started at the fire he saw flash in Sam's eyes as he uttered those words and she had pulled out of his embrace before he could stop her.

"How could you..."

She stopped pacing and spun around to face him.

"Did you mean what you said before?"

She placed her hands on her hips at his confused frown, only serving to intensify her anger.

"Did you mean what you said before?" she repeated.

"I..." he shrugged, not totally sure what she was asking him.

"That you would always be there for me."

Jack rolled his eyes and was on the verge of retorting something sarcastic when he stopped himself. He saw her expression soften, and he was left in no doubt as to what she was asking him. He knew this was his last chance.

He spoke so softly, Sam strained to hear. "Yeah, I meant it."

She nodded once before walking slowly towards him.

"Then what are you not telling me."

Jack glanced to his left towards the lake and waited until his heart had stopped racing.

"There is one option," he began uncertainly, before he straightened and looked deep into Sam's eyes.

"But I don't know if you'll like it."

"Try me."

***

Sam raised an expectant brow. When nothing else was forthcoming, she gave Jack an unamused glare.

"Well?"

"You don't have to agree to anything... I mean... I don't want... I don't... don't feel like you have to go through with it. Okay?"

Sam resisted the urge to laugh at his nervousness.

"Okay," she answered softly. "You're making me nervous, Jack."

"Sorry, it's just... I haven't actually thought about this. I mean I've thought about it, but I haven't thought about it. Y'know?" he said, waving a hand wildly between the two of them.

This time the urge was too great. Sam laughed softly.

"I'm sorry, Jack, but no. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Right."

She sighed and stepped closer to him, placing a hand on the side of his face to make him look at her.

"What is it?"

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and Sam narrowed her eyes as she scrutinized his behavior. After a while, she saw the moment his confidence returned.

"Okay, I can do this," he murmured more to himself than anything else.

"Wait here," he instructed, before turning on his heels and heading back inside the cabin.

Sam opened and closed her mouth a few times, before shaking her head in confusion. Now he really was starting to make her nervous.

She turned back out to the still waters and felt herself relaxing as she focused on its smooth surface. She had only been awake and up for just over an hour and already felt exhausted. She knew Jack was right. For all his insecurities and issues, this was their time. And whilst the words had never been spoken between them, there was a silent understanding that it was now or never. As clichéd as it sounded, this was their last chance. They were both determined to make it work; they needed each other in their lives, and over the past week, they had come to see a different side to the other person - one they wanted to finally have the chance to get to know better.

But it wasn't going to be easy. They both knew that. They hadn't physically said so, but they had both been hurt in the past and had far too many issues to start laying them all out on the table there and then. It would take work, and yeah, they'd have more than their fair share of arguments and disagreements ahead, but Sam didn't want it to be easy. She had easy with Pete, and it turned out to be anything but.

Aside from their inability to deal with their emotions, there was also the Air Force. Jack had made it quite clear that the rules were still there, and would remain there for the foreseeable future. They didn't want to break the rules, but she remembered her father's words and wondered if they could bend them instead.

She sighed and closed her eyes, savoring the tranquility of her surroundings. She didn't know how they were going to make it work. She had been through all the options; had been for years, yet Jack had supposedly found a way around the rules. She didn't like not knowing things, and the fact that Jack O'Neill - who often had a blatant disregard for rules and regulations - potentially knew something she didn't, didn't help matters. The fact that he was also so nervous about his idea... well, she didn't want to think about that either.

Sam was so immersed with her thoughts she jumped as she heard the Jack clearing his throat softly behind her.

What she saw made her smile. In front of her, stood Jack, rocking back on his heels with one hand shoved in his jeans pocket and the other clutching a folder so tightly, she could see the whites of his knuckles.

"Did you bring paperwork to the cabin?" she asked bemusedly, taking a step closer.

"Kinda," he shrugged.

She grinned as she nodded to the folder. "Is my company that bad?"

"Not yet," he quipped, trying to relax.

Sam made a move for the file in Jack's hand, only for him to pull it easily out of her reach. He shook his head. "Not yet."

She frowned, maybe even pouted as he smirked at her.

"Hammond gave me this before I left DC."

That got her attention, as she straightened, letting her hand fall to her side.

"What is it?"

"It's a folder."

She tilted her head and pursed her lips.

"Very funny."

"You'll remember what I said, won't you," he said, pausing with the file.

At her raised brow, he clarified. "You won't agree to anything you don't want to do."

Sam observed him closely. He was still giving her a way out if she wanted it, and whilst in one way it was something like him to do, she knew he was fighting to control the anxiousness and disappointment he would feel if she was to reject his idea.

She nodded an affirmative. "I will."

"Okay."

She could see him toying over whether to give her the folder or not and she sighed softly. Stretching her hand, her fingers had just brushed the corner of it when Jack shook his head. He pulled the folder away and held it behind his back before letting it fall to the ground.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, trying not to move backwards when Jack suddenly strode up to her and took her hands in his.

"You don't need to see that just yet," he explained, jerking his head to the discarded folder.

"You know I'd do anything for you, if it'd make you happy?"

Sam sighed louder this time.

"Yes, Jack. I've already told you that."

"I know, but... I just want to check," he shrugged. "I'm not... I don't... It's not like I've done this a lot..." he sighed in frustration.

"Jack!" Sam said in exasperation.

"Right. Sorry."

He claimed Sam's hands in his again and took a deep breath as she looked up at him.

"You're... beautiful, Sam."

Whatever she was expecting him to say, that hadn't been it, and she gasped.

He watched the blush spread rapidly across her face, down her neck, and... no. Jack scolded himself and forced his eyes back up to Sam's face.

"Jack -"

"I'm not a man of many words, Carter, so can you just let me have this please?"

She nodded quickly and Jack closed his eyes.

"Remember when I told you I adored you already, just before you stepped through the 'Gate for the first time?"

"You mean when you pushed me through?" she said, giving him a pointed look.

"Specifics," he said, waving his hand causing her to giggle.

"I remember," she nodded.

Jack nodded once in return. "I meant it. You probably thought I was being a smart ass at the time, but I wasn't. I tried to be, but I was telling the truth."

He quickly glanced over her shoulder before meeting her eyes again.

"The first time I saw you walk into the Briefing Room, and you smiled... it shocked the hell outta me," he muttered, dragging a hand through his hair.

At her surprised look, she watched amused as he became more flustered.

"I, ah... I didn't mean it like that. It was supposed to be a compliment... Ah, crap, " he grimaced.

She ducked her chin to hide her smile, before slowly raising her gaze to look at him from beneath her eyelashes.

"This is all going to sound clichéd... and you know how I feel about those," he deadpanned.

He paused, drawing in a breath before releasing it and puffing his cheeks.

"When you looked at me from across the briefing table... I couldn't tear my eyes away from you. You were... hot."

At Sam's undignified snort, he continued.

"I knew then, you'd be trouble. Even before you challenged me to an arm wrestle."

He grinned triumphantly as she blushed. He was never going to let her forget that one.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, returning his gaze to the trees in the background.

"There was just this... thing. It just... clicked," he shrugged helplessly.

"I'd never experienced anything like it before... haven't ever since. Unless I'm with you," he mumbled, dragging his eyes back to Sam's face.

"I was attracted to you..."

He winced slightly and Sam could swear she could see a faint blush tainting his cheeks.

"I, uh..." He puffed out a breath.

"It's more than that now. Has been for a long time, I think. I just... when you were stuck behind that damn forcefield... I knew then... that you felt the same... for me," he said quietly.

"Can I ask you something?"

Sam's mouth involuntarily fell open in surprise at his apparent change in subject. Snapping her mouth closed, she could only nod as she tried to figure out where this was going.

"Okay," he started slowly. "If... I ask you... this... just promise you'll hear me out and I'll explain everything to you after I've asked, okay?"

Again, she nodded, albeit more warily this time.

"Oh... and I'm not forcing you to do... anything. Ah, shit. Just..."

He stopped fidgeting and gently squeezed Sam's hands tighter. She watched him watch her and felt herself getting lost in his eyes.

A few minutes went past when he still hadn't said anything, and Sam had just opened her mouth to speak when Jack blurted out his question.

"Marry me."

***

A/N: For Chapters 26 – please click here. Thank you!